Posts Tagged ‘trust’
stabbed and mauled in the back
Thankfully, I managed to fly back to school about a week after my last post, which mean being back to the grindstone pretty quickly. In the month that I’ve been away from this weblog, I’ve been slogging it out for my A-level exams, which were spread out over the whole of May (with some practical modules taking place in April.) They aren’t finished – I’m on a week break, and have 3 more after this break is over.
But that’s not why I’m posting.
I just learned yesterday that my dad – manager of a medium-to-large call center since its set-up 2.5 years ago, stellar employee who rarely used his paid leave, and earned highest respects from all the agents (even more respect than the CEO commanded – dad was second in command) – was abruptly let go from his position on Wednesday. The powers-that-be from Down Under gave him the news and told him to clear out that same day – apart from him, there were no other “casualties”. And it wasn’t like the company was struggling; if they were, they never let on.
My folks had wanted to wait till the end of the week to tell me over the phone, as I was busy doing papers all that week…but they were afraid that I would find out anyway over Facebook, as plenty of his upset (and mortified) staff had left messages on his Wall. Thank heavens I didn’t see those, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do my exams, no?
The good news is that plenty of support has poured in from him – my mum’s bosses (also my parents’ old college mates) have offered him some work while he gets back on his feet. It’s not exactly the same thing he’s been doing, and they can only offer him half of his past salary – but it’ll keep him busy, keep his skills polished; plus, he can work from home. Mum and Jerry have been coping excellently; they were still joking and laughing over the phone yesterday. To quote mum: “now he can tidy up the house – and finally exercise to bust his belly!”
The bad news is that it’s eating me up inside. I feel wretched and guilty for being in a pricey school all the way in England; even though I’m on scholarship and that his severance will at least see me through till the end of this school year. I still have a year of A-levels after, though; which means that a) I may not be able to complete them in this same school or b) will not be able to have my family over when my graduation ceremony rolls round. They’ve never visited my school since the time mum sent me off here on Sept 2007 – it’s too pricey.
The irony is that this job was the reason I could attend school in England in the first place. Dad started there the same time I started school here. That workplace was also where I did my work experience last summer, so I’ve had some fond memories of the people there…I’d never thought it would go this sour.
The same staff who have sent dad wishes have, however, also sent me messages telling me how things have been since (and it’s not been pretty at the workplace), how wonderful a boss my dad had been to them, and that we were both lucky to have each other as father and daughter. One of them told that dad always spoke of us kids and mum “with a proud smile on his face.” Another said that she was proud to have had the chance to see me through my work experience – “your dad thinks the world of you, and it’s very much justified. You made an excellent employee, even though you were just 16 and only worked here for 2 months.”
Oh yes, the same multitude of staff my dad kindly and lovingly nurtured were the ones who nurtured me through my work experience – sort of a cycle, if you will. I knew a lot of them personally. A team leader told him on Facebook about how she was so down and thinking about giving up on a task she had promised she would complete for him by the end of that week; but he told her to hang in there – “think of your baby, complete the task for your agents; they need it to get their commission.” Even after being canned, he was still there keeping her sane!
Perhaps the powers-that-be had a very bad lapse in judgment – let got the outstanding, productive manager because he’s “too expensive”, and pile his duties on to the “cheaper” employees? Nicely done. The “cheaper” employees – employee, rather – who was forced to take on his duties since then is now feeling immensely pressured. Ironically, this same guy was dad’s right-hand man, and I feel very sorry for him – he was yet another guy I know personally who trained me during my early days.
Perhaps the CEO got a tad too jealous – not that my dad rubbed anything in her face; but when it came to birthdays, he was the one getting attention from the staff: pranks (read: a wrapped-up office), a multitude of treats – and even one year, a “World’s Best Boss” award. She didn’t even get that sort of camaraderie in everyday life, so that could’ve fueled it.
Whatever it is, it was cruelty in the first degree. For the first time in my life, I’m truly a wreck and it’s going to take me a fair amount of time to recover.
taken: three weeks on
Before I start, here’s a shoutout to Jackie and Jenny as thanks for their comments on my last post. Highly appreciated 
Anyway, life as a fresh non-singleton is pretty daunting and thrilling all at the same time. Daunting because it’s not something I’ve had any experience in -ever-, and also because whilst I’m busy navigating being part of a couple, I have the rest of life in general to keep in check too! But it’s well thrilling for the same reasons – learning more about someone and growing closer to them (on a different level) gives such a buzz that I could never have imagined.
In fact, the euphoria I felt when he first asked me out has only just slowly calmed down a few days ago! (That could just be me being highly emotionally involved in most of my experiences in general, though. :P)
One of my main “regrets” is that while he’s my first boyfriend (which indirectly means he’ll also be my first at quite a few other things), it isn’t mutual; a) I’m not the first person he’s fallen for, b) I’m not his first girlfriend (in fact, I’m friends with her – she was more than happy for us both so that’s a plus!) and c) I’m not the first person he’s kissed either. So whilst I enjoy the thrill of all these new (and slightly alien) experiences, it’s not the same for him – after all, he’s been there, done that.
Though mind you, when I told him how scared senseless I was “because I’m new to all this!”, he laughed and comforted me there and then. Cue the “awww!” cries – did I mention that I’m the older one here, by the way? 
Regardless of that, though, keeping to many an adult’s advice of “taking things a day at a time” has worked extremely well. In fact, yesterday was the first ever weekend-long outing I’ve been on with him and some of our other friends – he and another guy had initially planned to celebrate their birthdays with a trip to the movies (they’re both February babies); and this plan didn’t even involve me at first (I’m in the year above their group at school.)
However, a) they took forever to finalize their plans, and b) I ended up with him; so before I knew it, I got invited along to this outing too…of course, with the approval of everyone else in his group of friends. I guess it helped that we all were friends even before I went out with him
it only takes one
I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if I’m just one of those people “doomed” to have atypical friendships and social circles. Actually, I wouldn’t consider them atypical; but they’re definitely not what any old Joe/Jane would expect to have to go through. Not all of this, anyway.
For starters, I’m not part of a stereotypical high school clique; or just any old clique per se. That’s probably because I’m not 1) preppy 2) popular 3) a cheerleader 4) uber-nerdy 5) uber-AZN (as they would refer to themselves) or 6) a musical hermit. I love having my cake and eating it as well; so I’m involved in a good mix of stuff and talk to a lot of people. Which is what they never really understand about me. -_- If I were to actually follow personalities on TV shows, I think I’d be pretty much an Inbetweener (reference to E4′s hit comedy series The Inbetweeners; a bunch of students not cool enough to be popular but not nerdy enough to be geeks.)
Moving on – except for some treasured few, I seem to have a notorious track record for not getting along with peers of my age/year group. Juniors and seniors are all right, and I’m (touch wood) brilliant with kids and adults. However, try as I may, people from my year group just don’t take a shine to me. This became a lot more evident when I went to England – and know what? It’s actually not my fault that we don’t get on; Mr Marshman (my houseparent) reckons it’s just a case of different intellectual levels (so sue me if I don’t feel like comparing Daniel Radcliffe with Jeremy Sumpter – go ahead if you will; I just don’t really want to participate per se, thanks.) Perhaps I just have to be a bit more patient – people change and grow up more during their late teenage years.
The final thing – which has also ended up being a source of jibes – is the fact that I get on better with lads than chicas. I won’t lie and say that it’s better to share certain things with members of your own sex – even though I hate stereotypes, most of the girls around me are complete b****es. When it comes to friendly banter, more often than not, it’s guys that I tend to have it with. And unsurprisingly, some the dudes I hang out with happen to be the people I go to with my light worries. I must admit I do stay away from the popular ones, though; they tend to be very jock-ish characters without the ability to sustain a convo.
Not to say that I don’t get along with girls full stop. My two oldest best friends are girls I’ve known since primary school who are 1) living miles away from me and 2) are of a totally different background compared to mine. One doesn’t speak English as her first language either.
So far, these are the sort of things that I’ve grown to get used to – which other people sometimes condemn as an “abnormal social life”. Hopefully you agree with me. There are, however, certain not-so-typical friendships I’ve experienced in my teen years; some of which I’m still trying to get a clue on.